


I Need Somewhere to Begin

by AmaranthineRose



Series: Set the World on Fire [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, Post-Iron Man 3, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Pepper Potts, Rhodey Is a Good Bro, Tony Stark Goes to Therapy, Tony Stark Has Issues, minor Happy Hogan/OFC, minor James Rhodes/OFC
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-21
Updated: 2017-08-02
Packaged: 2018-12-05 01:57:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 18,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11567934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmaranthineRose/pseuds/AmaranthineRose
Summary: In the aftermath of his heart surgery and the destruction of the suits, Tony Stark reconsiders his life choices and makes a few new, big ones – and changes the future along the way. Meanwhile, the people around him move on with their lives, and Pepper Potts reconciles her relationship with Tony in regards to a dangerous world - and in regards to his relationship to Iron Man.Or, Tony goes to therapy and deals with all the issues that entails.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on and off on this series for a few years now, and I'm very excited about letting it into the world now. It starts about three months after Iron Man 3, so around mid to late March 2013 in terms of timeline, but there will be a couple of time jumps as we move forward.
> 
> Title comes from Keane's Somewhere Only We Know. All story graphics were made on Canva, which even my technologically inept self was able to figure out.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony Stark realizes he made have made a few mistakes.

It only occurred to Tony Stark three months after his surgery, fifteen weeks after blowing up the Iron Legion, and a hell of a lot of days after his life had impossibly changed in a cave in Afghanistan, that he might have made a few mistakes.

The first was probably coming back to New York at all, without shrapnel in his chest, and without the suit to help if a portal in the sky opened once again. The second was destroying every single suit without thinking about it in what was admittedly a pretty good romantic gesture. And the third and final one was sneaking DJ’s Burger when the doctor had told him to avoid anything greasy.

“Shit.”

The heart burn would disappear. The taste of that burger would be enough to at least suffer through it. The panic in his chest and the telltale light-headedness of a panic attack would last far longer.

He shouldn’t have come back to New York. He shouldn’t have come back.

But what other option was there? He sank down to the floor, the Hulk once smashed Loki over and over like a rag doll. It was marked with a small plaque he’d had commissioned, bronze with tiny green and purple stones in it, a reminder of some of the better parts of the incident less than a year ago.

_Here marks the spot where Hulk did toss Loki like a rag doll. This plaque memorializes this glorious event. Footage can be found on the Stark Industries server, under Bitch Slap._

Tony made the plaque as a joke. He’d made it as a way to laugh at Loki, to say that he hadn’t won, that he hadn’t succeeded in tearing apart the world through an alien invasion. He’d lost. They’d won. He was the one sitting in a cell in Asgard for the rest of his days. Tony and the other Avengers were the ones who would survive and live, and the world would not serve as the playground for an Asgardian with daddy issues.

No one told him about how even the victors would suffer.

He tried to remind himself that everyone was safe.

How safe we he that he’d thrown himself directly into the line of fire again? How safe would any of them be again with the fact that they all ran into fights headfirst without thinking about anything else?

How safe were he and Pepper without Iron Man?

He’d been convinced that he was okay after destroying the Iron Legion. He was still Iron Man without the suit. Tony Stark was Iron Man. The suit was not Iron Man. Tony believed that even now. But the suit helped a hell of a lot in a fight against aliens or AIM or anyone else who went after them.

Tony Stark was a hero without the suit. But the suit was a hell of an asset to have on your side when you were in a fight. And there was no telling when the next fight would start.

With a groan, Tony laid back, his head hitting the ground as he stared up at the ceiling, brown eyes flickering to the window showing New York. There were still buildings being fixed, repaired, and brought a city back to life from an alien battle. Damage Control was doing their job well, and he couldn’t regret working with the government on it when it seemed to be doing some good.

Maybe he’d done some good too. He’d found a way to extract Extremis from Pepper. That was a start. That was a project he’d started and thrown himself into. He’d always been better when he had something to work on, and in the aftermath of the Killian incident, working on fixing Extremis was a good start.

In the end, when Tony had the data and the way and the plan, it’d been Pepper’s choice. She’d chosen to have it extracted from her, saying she preferred to help the world from her side of a desk, creating things and helping the world in the way that she knew best. So Tony found a way to extract Extremis, and Pepper recovered.

Pepper was gone for the weekend, visiting her family in Connecticut. She’d gone back to work two weeks after the surgery to extract Extremis, and she’d managed to level the company after the explosions of the past few weeks. With Happy due to return for good in a few weeks, everything was slowly going back to normal, which meant Pepper’s free time would disappear. One weekend away wouldn’t kill the company, and Tony knew she hadn’t see her sister for almost two years; Claudia had given birth to her third child in those two years, a little boy that Pepper had never even met.

Tony didn’t go, despite Pepper’s invitation and insistence that it would be fun. He wanted her to enjoy some time alone with her sister. And he was not in the mood to head to Connecticut and meet the mother he’d heard so many awful stories about. Even with nearly a decade of Pepper in his life, he'd never met her mother and he did not plan to.

Then again, Pepper leaving him did leave Tony alone with his thoughts. That was never a good plan.

She truly was one of the best people in the world, a peaceful island in the insane ocean that was his life, and he would always love her. Half of this came about because he wanted to protect her.

He hadn’t been able to protect her, and he’d nearly lost her.

And now he’d blown up the one thing that could protect them both against a dangerous world. The suits. The Iron Legion. Iron Man.

He’d made a huge mistake.

What happened the next time something went wrong? It wasn’t a question of _if_ something went wrong, it was a question of _when_. This world was insane, and people went crazy and thought that they could go through people to get what they wanted. What happened the next time an alien invasion came down?

Back during a brief stint in rehab, Tony could remember a counselor saying that the first step to recovery was recognizing his own addiction. The suits weren’t an addiction. Not completely. The addiction was doing something, the act of fighting and doing what he could to protect a world that had people he cared about in it.

He had ways to do that. And he’d blown up every single one of them in some big romantic gesture.

Tony didn’t regret that. Pepper deserved him and him alone, not a three way relationship with Iron Man. But he couldn’t bring this up to her, not when she was recovering and had been through a traumatic event of her own. He couldn’t do that to her.

He couldn’t disappoint her again. But he had to do something to protect her and their friends and everyone they cared about.

Tony laid on the floor, staring at the ceiling above as he tried to breath, tried to reconcile the lack of protection he felt.

“Shit,” he whispered. “Shit.”

He had to get to work.

Or rather, he had to get _back_ to work.

* * *

 

Rhodey had found Tony Stark like this a few times in his life.

The first was in the aftermath of his parents’ death. He’d managed to wrangle an emergency leave a week after the death of Tony’s parents, and found him in time to get him to the hospital following alcohol poisoning. That was a fun New Year.

The second time wasn’t after his kidnapping in Afghanistan, despite what some people might believe. No, the second time was in the aftermath, after Obadiah Stane was dead and Tony was left to grapple with the betrayal of a man he considered a surrogate father, not to mention the fact he’d announced to the world he was Iron Man. He hadn’t been drunk enough for alcohol poisoning, but drunk enough that Rhodey called Pepper for help, and then called his wife and told her he wouldn’t be home for a day or two.

The third time was in the aftermath of New York, less than a year ago.

Rhodey was a career soldier. The second he’d seen Tony in the aftermath, he knew. PTSD. It only took five minutes for Mattie to see him and say that he had a clear case of PTSD. Rhodey knew enough to recognize it himself, but for it to be confirmed by his psychologist wife was both a blessing and a curse.

And now the Vice President was a traitor, the President had been nearly killed, and everything else was struggling to pull itself back together. It wasn’t too much of a surprise that he found Tony like this now.

AIM was still alive. Remnants of it had gone underground, with no word about who might be giving the orders. Not to mention the fact that there were already rumblings that the Ten Rings were pissed that someone used their name and cause for their own ends. The Ten Rings wasn't the most forgiving organization, and Rhodey knew they most likely would strike back at AIM themselves.

Personally, he was more than willing to let his enemies duke it out among themselves in some bizarre war, but only if no innocents got caught in the middle. And innocent people were always caught by crossfire.

He was in DC for more briefings and hearings. This was a huge embarrassment to the government, and especially to Ellis’s administration. Back when he’d gotten his own set of armor, Rhodey and his wife Mattie made the decision to buy a DC apartment for him whenever he was caught overnight. They could afford it, and it made sense, especially since their older daughter constantly said that she wanted to go to Culver for undergrad psychology, just like her mother. She could just use it when she went to college.

The day after what Rhodey hoped was the last day of hearings and committees, he went up to New York, to check on Tony and see how they were doing. With Happy still on medical leave following his release from the hospital and Pepper apparently visiting her sister in Connecticut, Tony would be alone. And Tony alone was never a good thing.

Really, he should have realized that earlier when the doors to the elevator opened and Rhodey was treated to the sight in front of him.

There were blueprints and plans everywhere, and multiple mugs of coffee in various states of staleness. Takeout boxes were around the lounge. Pillows and blankets were thrown around, as if Tony occasionally got a little rest among these ruins of plans. If Rhodey didn’t know Tony the way he did, he would have been worried there was a break-in.

“Jesus Christ,” Rhodey muttered, shaking his head. “I should have guessed.”

“Good afternoon, Colonel Rhodes,” JARVIS’s voice came through the speakers overhead. “Mr. Stark is down the hall. He’s run out of room in here.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” Rhodey muttered, frowning as he set over a container of what appeared to be Brooklyn pizza. At least Tony got good Brooklyn pizza. Takeout for Tony was never burger or fries from a diner. It was the top of the line. He could respect that. “What the hell is he doing, JARVIS?”

Rhodey wasn’t entirely sure if an AI could sound worried, but he was fairly sure that JARVIS sounded worried. “I believe Mr. Stark has a multitude of projects around him at the moment. I can’t say exactly what one he’s moved onto now.”

“Operation Compound, JARVIS!” Tony’s voice called from the room in question.

“Ah, yes. Mr. Stark is currently working on Operation Compound, Colonel Rhodes.”

“What the hell is…” Rhodey’s voice trailed off as he gave a deep sigh and looked to the ceiling, praying to any and every god for patience. “I’m on my way over, don’t bother answering. Thanks, JARVIS.”

"A pleasure as always, Colonel Rhodes."

Rhodey walked into the room, half terrified of what he was going to find Tony in the middle of. To his relief, there were no drugs or alcohol bottles, though Rhodey was very concerned by the number of Monster cans around him and the deep circles under Tony's dark eyes. If anything, this upped Rhodey’s conviction to his and Mattie’s recent ban of Monster drinks in regards to their kids, much to their son Duncan's irritation. Nothing good came from Monster.

“Jesus, Tony,” Rhodey murmured, taking a deep breath. “What the hell are you doing?”

Because it was clear that Tony was up to something. Or rather, Rhodey realized as he looked over at the numerous more files and plans in the room, a lot of somethings.

“Looking at new projects,” Tony explained simply, gesturing at the multiple plans in front of him, including photographs shot from above, buildings littering a field with rundown roads around them. “Stark Industries owns some land in upstate New York. I thought about making it an Avengers compound of sorts, so we’re not all over New York City…”

“Uh huh.” Rhodey sighed, sitting down on the office chair near the desk. He had to clear a few files off of it first. “Tony-“

“And the September Foundation stuff is right there,” Tony mentioned, gesturing over towards it. “Scholarships and programs and all that fun stuff. The Sarah Rogers Scholarship is one of them, after Cap’s mom… think he’ll like that. For girls who want to go to medical school. Speaking of Cap, I'm toying with the idea of a recall feature, where the shield comes right back to him...”

“Tony-“ Rhodey tried again. He wasn’t surprised that Tony continued as if he hadn’t heard him.

He gestured towards the next pile. “That’s for the Tower. More plans. Add a few dormitory type rooms for the team. And then the ones for the house back in Malibu, I’m gonna completely redo it and make sure that it can stand a helicopter attack. I’m not losing a house to the ocean again.”

“Tony!” Rhodey’s voice rose in volume, and Tony frowned over at him, looking a bit taken aback. “Have you dealt with anything at all since Christmas?”

“What?” Tony asked blankly, staring at his best friend for a few moments.

No, of course he hadn't, because he was Tony Stark and Tony Stark did not confront his trauma. Tony Stark found projects to work on, to focus on anything but him, so that he didn't have to acknowledge the fact that people had hurt him. Rhodey should have guessed it. And there was no way he was just going to let him keep ignoring this trauma, not when Tony had a shitty year.

“Pepper was kidnapped, you were nearly killed, and less than a year ago you flew into space on what might have been a suicide run,” Rhodey listed, practically seeing the flinch for every mention he made. “Have you dealt with anything you’ve been through?”

That got a reaction. Tony’s face closed off, and his eyes darkened even more as he looked down at the files he was working on. He didn’t answer, and Rhodey waited patiently. He couldn’t avoid the question forever. Not even Tony Stark could do that. He was going to have to answer sooner or later.

“I don’t know how to deal with it. So I’m doing what I do best. Work on stuff.” Tony pulled a piece of paper out, pausing as he looked it over and tossed the file onto the desk, near Rhodey. “I can do something to make sure it doesn’t happen again, so that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

Admission was a start. It was more of a start that Rhodey expected.

Rhodey frowned as he saw another file on the desk, pulling it open. It was a plan for some sort of prosthetic leg, little notes in the margins explaining how they needed to get height and weight of the girl in question and figure out how to get in contact with them. “What’s this?” Rhodey asked.

“This is um…” Tony rubbed his brow before saying, “The Vice-President worked with AIM to get access to Extremis. So his daughter could get a new leg. I’m making her a prosthetic. A good one. She’s a kid. Eight, maybe nine years old. None of this was her fault.”

Of course Tony was making a leg for the daughter of a man who'd had a hand in nearly killing them all. Of course he was.

Rhodey raised an eyebrow. Pushing Tony was never a good idea, but slowly circling around always worked. The military man looked up, frowning as he found another folder. He pulled it to his lap, eyes widening when he recognized the designs. It was easy too, after all. The same type of armor was sitting in his car right now.

“These are plans for suits.” Rhodey got up from the chair before sitting cross-legged on the ground, directly across at Tony so he couldn’t get away from him. “I thought you were done with Iron Man, Tony.”

So did he. Tony shook his head. “I don’t think I can be.” He gestured towards the window, “Rhodes, less than a year ago, aliens came down from the sky. Someone I met at the turn of the millennia came back and created exploding people with someone I slept with once. I don’t think I can stop because stuff keeps happening.”

“You’re not the only superhero in the world,” Rhodey pointed out. “I’m getting pretty close to getting that title.”

“You’ve already got the superhero title, Rhodes.” Tony sighed. “I’m not the only superhero. But I’m the only Iron Man.”

“Not everything bad that happens to the world is because of you,” Rhodey mentioned. He knew that Tony had some serious guilt complex problems, but this was a level that he had never seen before in his best friend. “I’m serious, man. Not everything is because of you.”

“So what happens when I can save someone, but because I’m retired, I can’t?” Tony demanded, finally looking back up at him. His eyes blazed before he spat, “People die then. I thought Pepper died, Rhodey, and it was the worst moment of my life. And now… now I can keep doing stuff. I can do this.”

Rhodey knew that he thought himself right in this. Tony was someone who, at heart, wanted to protect the people he cared about. And this was about him feeling like he could protect the people around him after they’d been through so many traumatic events.

“You’ve got to talk to Pepper about this.” From the way that Tony pointedly ignored his look, Rhodey knew that Tony understood that. “Did she head to see her sister?”

“Yeah. In Connecticut. She hasn’t been there for two years and she’s gonna go back into work full time soon. She wanted to go before we went back to Los Angeles. I wanted to let her get some alone time her sister. Her brother-in-law is annoying anyway.”

And Tony had been left alone because he didn’t want to go, thereby leaving him with his thoughts and starting this entire situation. And with Happy still recovering and back in Los Angeles, Tony was completely alone. JARVIS might have been there, but JARVIS was not the best controller of Tony's impulses.

Rhodey sighed, looking back over at his best friend. “You should talk to someone about this.”

“I’m not going to talk to a stranger about all this shit, Rhodes,” Tony warned, shaking his head. “I don’t want to risk it getting out to anyone.”

“Therapists and psychologists have doctor-patient confidentiality. And you’re forgetting that your best friend’s wife is one of LA’s top psychologists.” There was no way Tony had forgotten that. And while Rhodey knew that Mattie might be hesitant to take Tony as a patient, she would be willing to do so if he asked her. Tony was Tamara's godfather after all.

“Isn’t that technically a conflict of interests? Or illegal?” Tony asked.

“Technically, it’s discouraged to treat family or friends, but this is a different situation. And you really need to talk to someone.” And honestly, having someone who knew Tony would be a good thing. Mattie hadn’t stood for Tony’s shit before, and she wouldn’t stand for it now.

“If I promise to think about it will you leave me alone on it?” Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

“As long as you think about it,” Rhodey replied simply. He sighed before standing up, offering a hand to his best friend. “C’mon. Let’s go get something to eat. You go shower first though, you stink.”

“I’ve been working.” Tony rolled his eyes as he moved to his feet, at least accepting it. He took Rhodey’s hand and sighed. “I’ll... I’ll go shower. We’re going to a good place though. Like an actual good place. Steak maybe.”

“I’d expect nothing less.” Rhodey patted his shoulder. “Go on, man. I’ll wait in here.”

He walked out of the room, as if he’d realized that Rhodey wouldn’t give up and was surrendering out of a lack of a better option. The fact that he’d just surrendered like that was a huge sign that he was exhausted to the point where he couldn’t fight. Rhodey shook his head, watching him walk out before looking back down. His fingers traced the new plans for the suits, sighing.

Tony Stark would go back to the suit sooner or later. Rhodey knew that. He just hoped that he didn’t shut Pepper out in the meantime.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pepper goes home and considers her future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning for parental emotional abuse. Pepper's mother is not a nice woman.

While Tony was in New York suffering what was most likely a manic episode, Pepper was completely unaware. Instead, she was on her way to Connecticut. She was on her way back home.

She hadn’t been back to Connecticut in a number of years. After college, she'd moved to Chicago and worked in the HR department of the local Roxxon branch. She still went back to Connecticut twice a year, for a week in the summer and Christmas. She'd been twenty-seven when she'd gotten a position at Stark Industries, moving there. What was now fondly called the pepper spray incident where he'd witnessed her threaten to pepper spray a man costing the company thousands in a sexual harassment lawsuit, in which she'd officially first met Tony, happened less than a year later. The next day, instead of the termination of employment she'd expected, she'd gotten a promotion to his personal assistant.

After Pepper became Tony’s personal assistant, her free time considerably lessened. What minimal free time she had disappeared with her rise to CEO of Stark Industries.

Her family wasn’t close. While Pepper and her younger sister Claudia texted at least a few times a week, the last time Pepper spoke to her mother or stepfather was at least a year and a half ago. They hadn’t even sent texts asking how her surgery went. She wasn’t sure if they’d even know she’d had surgery to remove Extremis.

Hell, she wasn’t sure if they knew she’d been kidnapped and experimented on in the first place.

No matter what they did or did not know, Pepper was on her way to her small Connecticut town, having decided against a hotel room in order to stay at her sister’s house, in a guest bedroom. She hadn’t seen her youngest nephew since he was an infant. Claudia’s husband would be away on business for the weekend, leaving the Potts sisters to their mischief.

Pepper really did miss Connecticut sometimes. There was something to be said of the quietness of the state, of the woods surrounding her as she drove into the small town. Everything looked the same. Everything was constantly changing in New York and Los Angeles, and with Pepper’s own life in flux over the last three months, she appreciated something steady.

Claudia’s home was in a suburban neighborhood in a place where everything looked very much alike. A soft blanket of melting snow covered the front lawn, bits of grass poking through in scattered green dots. A flying saucer sled rested against the front deck, and Pepper smiled. It looked like her Christmas gift to her oldest nephew was a hit.

Pepper was barely out of the car when the front door opened and two small boys lunged out, hurrying down the steps as carefully as they could in socks and pajamas. “Aunt Pepper, Aunt Pepper!”

There was no stopping the grin on her face as she bent down, her coat gathered tightly around her ankles as she hugged her nephews. “Hey there, guys!” she exclaimed, looking back over. She grinned at the Iron Man shirt that her oldest nephew wore. “I like your shirt, Owen.”

Owen beamed. “He’s my favorite!” he exclaimed, half jumping. "Mama says you know him. And that she met him. She didn't really meet Iron Man, did she?"

“As a matter of fact, I do know Iron Man. And your mom has met him before.” Pepper looked back at her middle nephew, eyes widening. “This can’t be Ethan, Ethan’s just a baby. You’re way too big to be Ethan.”

The middle boy shook his head, giggling as he exclaimed, “It’s me! I am Ethan! I’m gonna be even taller than Owen someday!”

The eye roll Owen gave was such a Potts tic that it made Pepper laugh. “Aunt Pepper, look,” Owen chattered, pulling back his lip. “I lost a tooth! See? And the Tooth Fairy came and everything and I got to buy candy with it…”

Pepper laughed at the flutter of activity and conversation from her nephews, ruffling their hair gently. She moved to her feet carefully. “You’re both so big now. I can’t believe how old you’re getting.”

A laugh came nearby, and Pepper smiled as she saw a strawberry-blonde haired woman come down the steps with a toddler on her hip. The toddler’s little hands curled into her hair, and he buried his face in her shoulder when he caught Pepper staring at him. Pepper’s smile widened into a grin when she met eyes with the younger woman.

“Still not calling you Pepper,” Claudia Murphy teased as she came to her older sister, hugging her tightly. “I missed you, Vi.”

“I missed you too,” Pepper hummed. Claudia remained the only person allowed to call her Vi. Pepper as a nickname came from Tony himself, and though the world did know her as Pepper Potts, she would always be known as Vi Potts to her sister.

However, she would always think that Pepper would fit better than anything else.

Pepper let go of Claudia a moment later, smiling down at the little boy hiding his face in her sister’s shoulder. “Austin is getting so big.”

“Spouting like a weed,” Claudia laughed, the sound as musical as it’d been when they were kids. It took her right back to a little house on a street corner, a white picket fence, and a little shed they'd use as a castle or a space station or a restaurant. “C’mon, dinner’s almost ready.” She looked at her older sons before saying, “Boys, help carry your aunt’s stuff upstairs, then go wash your hands. We’re eating in the dining room.”

Owen’s eyes widened, and he beamed as he looked up at his aunt and said, “We only eat there on special days.”

“Your aunt is pretty special,” Claudia promised, rustling her son’s hair gently. "She deserves it."

Owen and Ethan hurried away to take care of the suitcase in the back, arguing about who got to push it when they found out it had wheels. Claudia only rolled her eyes, leading the way into the house. Pepper glanced around, not surprised by the fact that it seemed like the entire house had been redecorating. Everyone had hobbies, and Claudia’s just happened to be redesigning her house every few months. This year's theme seemed to be nautical inspired, judging by the seashells and the picture of a lighthouse directly inside the foyer.

“Mom’s coming tomorrow night,” Claudia warned in a low voice, sighing as she put Austin down in the living room, in a part sectioned off by a child fence. Austin happily hurried to some blocks, grinning as he dove into them. “She found out you were coming and demanded a dinner. If you want, I can conveniently forget and let you take the boys for pizza.”

“And leave you alone to face her wrath?” Pepper shook her head, sighing before saying, “I figured I would have to see her. She’s still on you about everything?”

“Of course she is. I should divorce Glenn, I’m not good enough a mother to be a stay-at-home mom, she wants the boys overnight. It’s easier to just ignore her. She’s full of hot air.” Claudia led the way to the kitchen when she saw the older boys were inside.

She had every intention of keeping her future child as far away from her mother as much as possible. Pepper only talked to her mother once every few months anyway. And even those communications were less about Lorraine checking up on her oldest daughter and more about getting gossip material and needling every decision Pepper made.

“Luckily for you, she’ll be focused on you tomorrow,” Claudia pointed out. She moved over to the wine, pouring two generous glasses for herself and her sister. “Until then, we can enjoy ourselves. I’ll put a movie on for the kids and then we’ll talk.”

Pepper smiled. “Everything I wanted,” she promised simply, clinking her glass with her sister.

That was enough to make this trip worth it. Even if it meant a visit with her mother.

“Bet you she’ll bring up you having kids within an hour,” Claudia mentioned.

“She’ll do it in the first twenty minutes,” Pepper countered, laughing as she shook her sister’s head. “Twenty bucks.”

“I look forward to buying a new bottle of wine for myself.” Claudia’s eyes sparkled as she smirked at her older sister.

It would be a long night. At least the wine was good and the company better.

* * *

 Pepper and Claudia’s mother was an intimidating woman.

Claudia sometimes expressed the fact that she was jealous that Pepper usually had three thousand miles and an entire company between her and their mother. Claudia only had about ten miles and a locked door that would not stand in the way of what Lorraine wanted. Perhaps more importantly of all, Claudia lacked what came naturally to Pepper: an iron spine and the ability to say no to their mother.

And right now, Lorraine Allan wanted nothing more than to know every detail of Pepper’s life.

“Aunt Pepper is dating Iron Man, Grandma!” Owen chattered. He was still wearing the same Iron Man shirt. Pepper was planning on stealing it and getting Tony to autograph it. Someday, when Owen met him, she was sure her nephew would freak out. She would make sure it happened.

“You’re still dating him?” Lorraine asked. Her nose crinkled as she shook her head. “He seems far too much of a hassle, Virginia.”

Pepper only took a sip of her wine, keeping the placid and icy smile on her face. “I’m very happy with him.” She’d long since learned that merely letting her mother’s words slide off her was the best way to deal with everything she threw at her.

“Were you involved with what happened in Miami?” Pepper and Claudia’s stepfather Robert asked. “They kept so much of it out of the news. All we know is that your boy and his best friend were involved with saving the President.”

In theory, Robert Allan was a nice man. He was a white collar worker who commuted to a larger city every day. He had a nice house. He'd been married and divorced once before Lorraine, and had two sons and a daughter. Pepper and Claudia had only met them at the wedding. He’d always been kind to Pepper and Claudia, and gave a heartwarming speech at Claudia’s wedding to Glenn.

He also just happened to be spineless when it came to Lorraine.

And more importantly of all, he was not George Potts.

“I was. But I’m alright. Better than I was back then.” She didn’t want to go into details about this. Her mother would find a way to criticize her actions and find a way to blame her for Killian’s attention on her. And Pepper did not want to talk about what happened. She was still having nightmares.

Plus, her mother had always _liked_ Killian. The last thing Pepper wanted to bring up was the fact that she’d killed Killian herself.

Lorraine shook her head. “And are you planning on having children anytime soon? I’m sure it wouldn’t be a good idea with him. He’s barely stable enough to take care of himself.”

“I would say that Tony is an adult and so am I, so our business is our business.” Pepper took another bite of risotto before pointing out, “And we might. Eventually. Not for a few years at least.”

Across the table, Claudia raised an eyebrow. It was in the first hour, after the first twenty minutes, which meant that she would be getting the twenty dollars. Pepper planned on buying her a very good bottle of wine instead. Claudia would appreciate that more than twenty bucks, and she deserved it while raising three sons.

“You’re not getting any younger, Virginia,” Lorraine pointed out.

Robert, eternal doormat to Lorraine that he was, shot Pepper a sympathetic look, an expression that clearly said that she meant well. Well-meaning didn’t matter to her. It didn’t help the fact that she was intruding on her life and trying to find information on her older daughter to use as gossip fodder.

“You were thirty-nine when I was born, Mom,” Claudia replied, her eyes narrowed. Her hand gripped her wine glass tighter, and she took a deep breath, distracting herself with handing Owen a new piece of bread when he asked.

Lorraine rolled her eyes. “Don’t give him too many carbs, Claudia.”

“He’s seven, Mom. And I’ll mother my child the way I see fit.” Claudia pulled out another piece of bread before saying, “Do you want another piece of bread, Ethan?” Ethan nodded eagerly, and Claudia’s middle son took the piece of breath offered.

Pepper shook her head, shooting her sister a look before pointing out, “They’re kids, Mom. They can handle it fine.”

“I didn’t raise two daughters myself, I wouldn’t have any idea what to do with children,” Lorraine muttered, rolling his eyes.

“Because raising three sons is exactly like raising two daughters, right?” Claudia asked, her voice deadpan as she took a deep breath. She sipped her wine again, clearly trying to hold herself together.

“I successfully raised you two, didn’t I?” Lorraine laughed, shaking her head. “Despite both of your problems.”

Claudia flinched quietly, and sighed. Owen looked curiously between his mother and grandmother, and Pepper shook her head. “You mean part of the problems that you caused,” Pepper pointed out.

“Boys, go to the playroom,” Claudia ordered, sensing the rapidly rising tension. Owen, recognizing the tone of his mother’s voice, obeyed immediately. He grabbed Ethan’s hand on the way out, and helped to get Austin out of his chair, leading his younger brothers to the playroom that was on the other side of the house and far out of hearing range.

“How dare you,” Lorraine spat, glaring across at her older daughter. “I am your mother-“

“And that doesn’t mean you deserve respect.” She’d figured that out long ago. And hearing about the father Howard Stark was meant that he did not deserve respect for the simple fact that respect had to be earned.

Lorraine hadn’t earn that respect either.

“You caused part of those problems.” Pepper gestured over towards Claudia, who was pointedly poking at her fish with a fork. “How many times did you criticize us? Say we weren’t good enough? She’s a fantastic mother. I’m the CEO to one of the largest companies in the world. We’re more than good enough. But still not enough for you.”

“And you both could be so much more,” Lorraine scoffed.

Pepper shook her head. “I think you’re just miserable. That’s it. Dad died. We all were hurt when it happened. But that doesn’t mean you could lash out at us.”

From the rage in Lorraine’s eyes, Pepper knew she hit the nail on the head. “And you’re still doing it,” Pepper pointed out. She looked back over at Claudia before saying, “I’m sorry. But I’m not dealing with her.”

“Neither am I.” Claudia looked back at her mother before saying, “Mom, just… just go.”

Lorraine looked far more annoyed and insulted than heartbroken. “I am your mother. I am allowed to be here,” she spat to Claudia, though her glare remained directly on Pepper.

“And this is my house, so look at me when you try to insult and push stuff on me,” Claudia pointed out. She took a deep breath before adding, “Go, Mother. Before I call the cops. I want you gone. I want to spend a good weekend with my sister.”

Their mother scoffed and stood up from the seat. She didn’t react as she not so accidentally pushed her wine down, the red staining the tablecloth. Pepper shook her head and made a mental note to replace it for Claudia. Pepper only watched as Lorraine grabbed her coat and stormed out, not saying goodbye to either of her daughters and not looking back as she went to the car. She slammed the door at the passenger’s seat, and Claudia sighed.

Robert shot them an apologetic look as he followed Lorraine out of the house. Claudia stalked forward, slamming the door behind them and making sure it was locked. She shot Pepper a look, sighing in exhaustion before rolling her eyes. “She’ll never change,” she pointed out.

Pepper knew that damned well. “Even if I have a kid,” she said. “She’s never going to meet it.”

And she would never treat her daughter the way that Lorraine treated her and Claudia. She would make damned sure about that.

* * *

 “Do you think he’ll put the suit back on?”

It was nearly one am, the darkness around them having slipped from Saturday night to Sunday morning. They were in the sun room towards the back of the house, a half-emptied bottle of wine and lit candles in front of them. Claudia’s sons were put in bed hours before, but the Potts sisters were still awake, staring at the flames of the candles and talking about everything.

Pepper wasn’t surprised by the question. Claudia was always sharp as a tack when it came to reading people, and she’d met Tony enough times to know that he had some seriously obsessive tendencies. She was half concerned he might be making something while she was gone.

“I don’t know,” Pepper admitted. “I hope not.”

He’d given so much already. And someday, Iron Man would kill him. He’d had so many close calls. Someday, his luck was going to run out and she was going to be burying him.

“He’s one in the same in the media,” Claudia pointed out. She reached over, taking the bottle of wine and pouring more into her glass. “Don’t think people realize that Tony Stark is different than Iron Man.”

“Honestly, I don’t think Tony does,” Pepper admitted. “He’s been… quiet since Miami. More than he was after New York. After New York, he worked on his suits. Now, he just… he drives. He’s trying to get a scholarship organization put together. There are other smaller projects he's worked on. But he’s quiet.”

And Tony Stark was not a quiet man. It was unnerving and worried her far more than she could ever say.

“You’re the one who asked me about anxiety and depression. I can’t diagnose him, but I don’t think it would be that much of a surprise for him to get a diagnosis. The worrying, the impulse… it’s what I did.” Claudia shook her head before adding, “He really should go to therapy.”

Pepper scoffed. “Convincing him of that won't be easy.”

“Doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. Going to therapy after Owen was born helped a lot. I’m still going,” Claudia pointed out. She shook her head before adding, “Thank you for taking Mom down that way. She was talking about her mentally ill daughter the other day to church ladies. It’s been getting really frustrating.”

“Why do you let Mom talk to you that way?” Pepper asked. “She’s awful to you.”

Claudia stiffened, not answering for a few moments. “It’s easier than standing up to her.”

“Standing up to her is kinda worth it though, Claudia.”

Her younger sister shook her head and gave a long-suffering sigh. “The old bat’s going to die someday. And I don’t want to deal with the bullshit _she’s your mom_ whining that a ton of people will give me. I’ve got three boys to raise. I’ve got a hell of a lot better to do than dealing with a bunch of old church ladies.”

And it was easier to remain out of contact when they lived far apart.

“We’re thinking about moving,” Claudia admitted. “To Boston. Glenn is up there at least three times a month anyway, and Roxxon would kill to have him in Boston full time.”

“You should do it,” Pepper mentioned. She smiled weakly at her sister before pointing out, “There’s a lot of fun stuff to do around Boston. The boys would love it. You would be away from Mom.”

“After tonight, I would even be willing to move three boys.” Claudia gave a bitter smile. “It should have been her. Not Dad.”

“I know.” Pepper once screamed that at her mother in an argument. She knew that she’d taken it too far that day, in that argument, when she’d been trying to hurt her mother.

It hadn’t hurt her. Lorraine didn’t care enough.

But that didn’t mean that Pepper wouldn’t have given anything to have her and Claudia’s father back. For themselves. For Claudia’s boys. For Pepper’s theoretical child with Tony. The one she’d admittedly thought about more and more since a pregnancy scare over a year ago.

“Is it worth it?” Pepper asked suddenly. “Kids, I mean.”

Claudia snorted. “They drive me crazy. They’re messy, they’re loud, if I’m not cleaning up shit I’m cleaning up snot. They’re expensive little hell raisers.” She smiled, more open and genuine than she’d seen in years. “They’re beyond worth it.”

That was something to think about.

Pepper shook her head before raising her glass, giving a quiet smile. “To whatever happens next. Whether that is me having kids, starting a new company, marrying Tony, breaking up… whatever happens, cheers to it.”

Because she was alive to live through it.

“To my potential niece or nephew,” Claudia deadpanned, raising her wine and knocking her glass with Pepper’s. “May you stay the hell away from your grandmother.”

With a laugh, Pepper sipped at her wine. "To us." Maybe this trip to Connecticut was what she needed.

And maybe the future was what she and Tony should be looking forward to.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Claudia Potts-Murphy** – Emma Hamilton  
>  **Lorraine Allan** – Joanna Lumley  
>  **Robert Allan** \- Mandy Patinkin


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hammer Industries gets a new CEO. Pepper and Tony see a familiar face. Tony Stark finally goes to therapy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter takes place several months after Chapter 2, approximately mid July 2013. Included are Marvel cameos, therapy, discussions of Tony's vast daddy issues, and a therapist who doesn't stand for Tony Stark's shit.

Things were normal until the mid-summer.

Tony kept with his projects and tried to hide them from Pepper as much as possible. He met with contractors and architects and finalized plans for the new house in Malibu with Pepper's approval. Pepper worked with Stark Industries and tried to settle everything after the stock fall from the Killian incident. Economists wanted to interview her about potential stock drops with companies following superhero antics. Her only response was that Roxxon might be a better fit for that novel, and sent them the number to Donald Roxxon’s secretary.

Things were blissfully normal. Their relationship was strong, they were happy, and Tony seemed to be almost calmer. Pepper wasn’t blind to the multiple files and stuffed boxes that commandeered the bedroom serving as an office, but Tony having projects might have been better for all of them. It at least kept Tony from diving and brooding in his own head, and it might give Stark Industries a new product or two along the way.

It was in that summer that Hammer Industries rose from the ashes with a new CEO. And a new bodyguard of sorts next to the CEO.

“Holy shit,” Tony said, his voice shocked. “That’s Zeke Stane.”

Despite how insane their lives were, they both made a point of eating at least one meal together each day. This morning happened to be breakfast together, in the penthouse they were renting in Los Angeles. Construction was due to begin on the lot where their Malibu home once was in the next few days, and Tony was there to oversee the beginning. They were hopeful it would be complete by the Christmas of next year.

What triggered Tony’s exclamation was the television in the corner of the kitchen, set to a local news channel. Pepper glanced up, frowning when she saw a head of familiar blond hair and even more familiar blue eyes. She set her coffee down, exchanging a look with Tony.

“JARVIS, turn it up,” Pepper ordered. It was a fairly simple thing to get JARVIS hooked to the electronics in the penthouse, even if it might end up to them buying the place sooner or later. They might end up giving it to Happy. He deserved it.

Anchorwoman Chess Roberts’ voice came a few moments later. “Hammer Industries surprised the weapons world with the announcement of a new CEO. Sasha Hammer, sister to disgraced and incarcerated Justin Hammer, has officially taken over the company.”

“I’m not crazy, right?” Tony asked, frowning deeply. “That’s Zeke, right? That’s Zeke Stane? He just popped up randomly after like three years missing?”

Pepper nodded simply. “That’s Zeke,” she replied. “That’s definitely Ezekiel Stane.”

She remembered a smart kid forced to sit in board meeting rooms years ago, who handled the death of his mother with a deep breath and a handful of dirt tossed into her grave like her traditions stated. He would doodle on the margins of board memos and was incredibly gifted at art. He’d wanted to go to art school and Obadiah Stane hadn’t allowed it. And Zeke had completely left the state after Tony’s kidnapping. He was long gone by the time that Tony returned.

And now he was back, over three years later, none the worse for wear and standing behind Sasha Hammer.

"This begins a new era in Hammer Industries' history - where we rededicate ourselves to protecting this great nation, the world, and those who would wish to do innocent people harm," Sasha Hammer said on the screen, looking as cool, calm, and collected as anyone could be coming off a potentially hostile takeover. And if Pepper knew anything about the way that Justin Hammer ran things, she was sure that Sasha had a hell of a hostile takeover to get there.

“Didn’t know Hammer had a sister,” Tony mentioned, frowning.

“Half-sister. Her mother’s the daughter of a Japanese CEO.” Pepper poked at her waffles, sighing as she pulled out her phone, already typing out a note to her new assistant Faith to try and find out more. “She studied at the London School of Economics. She’s very smart. I’m not surprised she found a way to get control of the company.”

“Great, so she’s smarter than Hammer. Just great. Zeke though…” Tony sighed. “I asked Obie why he wasn’t around after I got rescued. He said he went back to school.”

“He left not long after you disappeared,” Pepper replied. Zeke hadn’t even said goodbye to her, and they’d been fairly close back when she’d been Tony’s assistant. “I think he knew about what Stane did to you and left because he didn’t approve.”

“Not enough to report him.” There was no bitterness to Tony’s voice. Just an exhaustion that always came when Obadiah Stane came up in conversation. That betrayal hurt Tony far more than he would ever admit, even to her.

“Obadiah was his father, and his only living parent. It’s not easy to betray a parent, even when they do something on that level.” How long had it taken for Pepper to cut her mother completely out of her life? She hadn't been able to do it fully until Claudia had moved to Boston last month.

Tony shook his head before asking, “You think he’s up to something?” He frowned as he watched the screen. Sasha Hammer was walking out of the press conference, her hand slipping into Zeke’s as they slipped through the doors. “Zeke, you sly dog…”

“I don’t think so,” Pepper admitted. “Zeke never wanted anything to do with Stark Industries before, I doubt he wants anything to do with it now. He’s working as Sasha’s bodyguard, not a member of her board.”

He clearly wasn’t convinced. Tony frowned at the screen, at the replay of the conference. “And Rhodey says I shouldn’t build more suits,” he muttered.

“What?”

For a moment, Pepper was sure she’d misheard him. But she was sitting right in front of him, she had full hearing, and she wasn’t stupid. The television wasn’t that loud. She’d heard what Tony said. Rhodey had told Tony he shouldn’t build more suits. Tony didn’t agree with it. Tony very well might be building more suits. She grabbed the remote, turning off the television to keep her full attention on Tony.

Tony winced, as if he realized he’d said that out loud. “Shit.” He shook his head before saying, “Pepper…”

“Answer me honestly, right now,” Pepper demanded. Her voice remained calm and clear, as she stared across at the man she loved. Afraid of the answer, Pepper asked, “Are you still building suits?”

The billionaire took a deep breath before looking back over at her and saying, “No. I haven’t been building any of them. I’ve been designing them. I haven’t started to build anything. What I’ve been building is drones, things to help. Arrows for Barton. A recall feature for Cap’s shield. Something that might contain the Hulk. But I haven’t built any suits for myself.”

To be honest, that very much surprised Pepper. She was incredibly relieved that he was telling her the truth. Tony Stark was not a liar. But the fact that he’d been hiding projects and hiding suit designs was a surprise.

She’d been terrified of him going back to Iron Man, terrified of him killing himself because of those suits. Tony had a guilt complex the size of the Hulk, and he would never completely be able to just sit down. She knew that.

Pepper was surprised that there was almost a sense of relief with the confirmation that yes, Tony was at least thinking about suits.

“Why haven’t you started building them?” Pepper asked. That was what she was wondering more than anything, why he hadn’t decided yet to go back to them completely.

Tony swallowed, looking back over at her. “Because I promised you I was done. Because I blew up the Iron Legion and every single one of those suits and promised you I was done. I’ve broken enough promises to you.  I was already breaking it by designing suits.”

And that was something else Pepper didn’t expect, that the promise might matter that much to him.

Pepper swallowed heavily, closing her eyes as she looked away. She didn’t know what to say or think right now. Tony wanted to go back to the suits, but wasn’t because he had promised her he wouldn’t. And he didn’t want to break another promise to her.

But she saw the fact that he thought that Zeke might go after them. She didn’t think so, but Tony did. Tony was worried, and he felt safe when he had the suits. She didn't want to take away that feeling of safety, no matter how much those suits made her worry.

“If you want me to, I’ll scrap them all.” The offer surprised her, and she looked sharply over at her boyfriend. Tony took another deep breath before repeating, “I’ll scrap them all if you don’t want me to. It was probably me going on a technicality. I don't want to lose you. I can't. You're more important to me than iron Man, Pepper.”

The fact that he was willing to do this was a huge sign, and it did break Pepper’s heart. Right now, she had the power to say yes or no to Tony working on the suits, to designing them and working on them. He was willing to let it go for good for her, just like he promised.

And now, this was entirely on her.

“Answer me honestly. Do you need this? The suits? Iron Man?” Pepper asked.

Silence stretched between them for a few minutes. Tony tapped his fingers against the counter, taking a deep breath before he looked back at her. He almost looked guilty as he swallowed again, trying to find the words that could explain exactly how he felt.

“I don’t need the suits,” Tony said, his voice low. He didn’t look at her. He couldn’t. “But I want them. This world is insane, Pepper, and I… I can do something about it. And I want to do something about it. Maybe that makes me selfish, but… I need it. I’m more than the suit. But I can do something in those suits. Something for me. Something for you. Something for the future more than just being Tony Stark.”

Pepper swallowed, not answering. She watched him carefully, the slouch of his shoulders, the exhaustion clear on his face. He was guilty. Tired. And he was still thinking about the suits, even now.

She wasn’t surprised, in some ways. And she wasn’t angry about it.

“I miss it,” Tony admitted. “I do miss it. I miss the fact that I can be useful and help people. That’s what I miss.” He tapped his chest. “I don’t miss the idea of deadly shrapnel in my chest. But maybe there’s something to be said about being able to be in a suit without my death in front of me.”

Death would be in front of him no matter what, if he was in one of those suits. Pepper didn’t point that out.

“I need time to think,” Pepper said simply. “About the suits. About this. About everything.”

Because less than a year ago, she’d nearly been killed. And less than a year ago, he said he was giving up being Iron Man. Learning that he might want to go back to it was going to be a tough pill to swallow, and she was going to need time to figure it out.

He nodded. He could understand that much. Especially considering the fact that he was asking her to watch him spiral into the same path he’d been on for months, this time without the hunk of metal in his chest.

“Between now then though, just… please talk to someone. Get an appointment with Mattie or another therapist. That’s my first condition.” Pepper added that before she could stop herself, and she knew it needed to be done. Tony needed to talk to someone about everything.

Pepper stepped forward, sighing and kissing his cheek. “I love you. That’s not going to change.”

Tony nodded, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles gently. “I love you too.”

She went to work, almost glad for a distraction in something she could do. Maybe she and Tony were far more alike than they would ever think, at least when it came to avoiding what they didn't want to think about.

* * *

“I’m pretty sure this is a conflict of interests. So you can kick me out here and now and I'll totally be okay with that.”

Doctor Matilda Rhodes raised an eyebrow, giving a long-suffering sigh before saying, “You’re the one who asked for an appointment, Tony. And right now, I’m not your best friend’s wife. I’m your therapist.”

In one of the most stereotypical psychologist offices Tony ever saw, he gave a deep sigh. “I can’t do the talking to a stranger thing. Feels too much like screaming it into a foghorn. And I tried talking to another doctor. He said he didn't have the temperament for it.” He looked around. “I feel like your office is a set of a psychologist drama or something.”

It wasn’t a bad office, per say. It was just so _obviously_ a therapist’s office. Which, granted, it was. There were diplomas on the wall. Tony recognized one from Stanford. There were a few generic photos of pretty landscapes, and the floor-to-ceiling window on the one side was an admittedly gorgeous view of Los Angeles. Tony was on the couch, slouched carefully, and Mattie was sitting in a chair with a clipboard in hand, pen posed to start writing at any second.

It was only the day after his and Pepper’s talk, when Pepper found out that he was still looking at suits. He’d called Mattie’s office immediately after to ask for a professional appointment. To his shock, Mattie seemed to almost assume it was an emergency from the fact that Tony was asking for a session at all, and scheduled him for noon the next day.

Granted, she wasn’t wrong. But still. He hadn’t expected to be in a therapist office twenty-eight hours after Pepper presented the condition that he had to talk to someone. But there he was, and he was already regretting every bit of it.

“I don’t know if there are any psychologist dramas,” Mattie admitted, frowning as she looked back over.

He shrugged. “I don’t know, I could probably think of one or two,” Tony said, humming as he looked up at the ceiling and trying to think. “Hmmm…”

“So, Tony, why are you here today?” Mattie asked, setting her pen and paper down. There was nothing written on it other than a note to herself to call Rhodey and ask if she should pick up dinner for them and the kids. It was so ridiculously normal that it almost helped him to think that this appointment might be no big deal.

Tony gave a long-suffering sigh. “Rhodey tells you everything anyway. He probably told you that he told me to get therapy. You’re probably gonna tell him about this.”

Mattie shook her head. “I’m actually not. Patient-client privilege. Anything you say in here will never be heard by anyone else. I’m not going to tell Jim I had a session with you. Hell, I won’t even confirm to him I had a session with you. He'll only know if you tell him.”

Tony nodded slowly. The idea that no one would ever know what he said in there was a pretty big bit of freedom. He hadn’t expected to feel relieved by the confirmation that no one would ever know about this. No one would know he had a session. No one would knew what he said in there.

“I’ve been designing more suits.” Saying the truth out loud felt like lifting a weight from his shoulders. “I’ve been designing more suits and thinking about going back to being Iron Man and I don’t know what to do. Because I promised Pepper I wouldn’t do it anymore and I basically lied to her.”

“You told her about it when she asked,” Mattie pointed out. She picked up the clipboard again and wrote a few notes. “Do you think that counts as a lie to her?”

“Lie of omission, right?” He was pretty sure that was what it was called, anyway. “I told her I was done and when I started designing suits again, I didn’t tell her.”

“But you did tell her when she asked you.” Mattie raised an eyebrow across at Tony before asking, “You don’t think you might be too hard on yourself for this? Iron Man has been a very big part of your life for over three years.”

Wasn’t that the truth? The last three years of his life revolved around Iron Man. Escaping the cage in the suit, Yinsin’s death, trying to prevent the arc reactor from killing him, the Battle of New York, what happened with Killian… everything revolved around Iron Man for the past three years.

"Pepper and Rhodey are worried about me," Tony admitted. "I can tell that much. Just don't know if I'm worth it."

Mattie looked back over at him. “One is your best friend. The other is the woman you’ve been in a relationship with for over two years. Don’t underestimate how much they care about you. Maybe their wanting you to talk to someone is because they’re worried that Tony Stark will lose out to Iron Man.”

And he couldn’t remember the last time he focused on something that wasn’t Iron Man. Maybe they were right about that.

“I don’t want to disappoint them. Either of them.” Tony tugged a hand through his messy hair, finally removing his sunglasses and throwing them onto the floor. “Because they’re two of the best people in the world. Them and Happy. And Happy got hurt, Rhodey was kidnapped, Pepper nearly died. And I blame that on me.”

Mattie looked back over at him. “Did you blow up a man and injure Happy? Did you abduct Jim while he was overseas? Did you throw Pepper off a platform?”

Tony flinched before looking back over at her. “No.”

“You did not attack them. You did not cause them harm. What other people do to the people you love is not your fault, Tony,” Mattie pointed out, sighing softly as she looked back over at her. “You are not responsible for the actions of anyone else.”

He swallowed. “I know.” Even if he would never accept it.

“Have you talked to Pepper about this?” Mattie asked. “How you feel about what happened to her, how that relates to Iron Man and protecting the others?”

The statement in and of itself brought up a point he’d never thought about. Iron Man to him meant protection for the people around him. While he had a suit, he could protect everyone around him. Hell, Rhodey got a suit because Tony thought he was dying and he would need protection of his own, because Rhodey was as protective and brave as anyone and would always willing go into danger to protect an innocent.

“I don’t want to disappoint her.” He shook his head. “I’ve been a disappointment to so many people.” His father. The Avengers. Everyone around him. Hell, he’d disappointed Pepper and Rhodey and Mattie more times than he could count. “Don’t want to disappoint her too.”

Tony swallowed before admitting, “And it’s worse because if I’m disappointing Pepper, I might…” He scrubbed a hand over his face before admitting, “I might disappoint a kid. Because I think I want kids. Because when Rhodey brought Keisha to lunch last week and I saw them interacting and I just… I think I want kids.”

It was the first time he’d ever voiced that out loud, the idea that he might want to have kids. He and Pepper never talked about it before. Rhodey asked Tony once, after Keisha was born eight years ago, if he’d ever consider having kids of his own. At the time, four-year-old Tamara was coloring on the ground, and her two-year younger brother Duncan had been exploring the living room, toddling on steady legs. He’d laughed him off and said never, but that was before he and Pepper were even together.

And Tony realized that yes, he wanted kids. He wanted kids with Pepper. There was something terrifying and exhilarating about admitting it out loud, admitting that he, Tony Stark, general pain in the ass and mess, might want children.

God help those poor kids.

“Are you afraid of issues with your own father resurfacing when faced with the idea of having children of your own?” Mattie asked. It was such a therapist question that it almost made Tony laugh, but there was truth to it.

“I want to be better than he was. In every way I can. As a person. As a father. As a hero.” Maybe it was his own personal fuck you to Howard Stark. “I just… I see Rhodey and Tamara and Keisha and they look at him like he’s a god. And I never thought that way about my dad. He only ever disappointed me. I don’t want to do that to my kid.”

Mattie nodded before leaning back. “Let’s talk about it, then.”

Most of the session ended up revolving around it. Mattie mentioned a few stories about Tamara and Duncan and Keisha, and Tony couldn’t help but imagine a dark-haired little girl with Pepper’s smile and steely determination, or a grinning little boy with his bright brown eyes and an unstoppable mind. Maybe someday. He didn’t even know why this came up now, why he thought he might want kids someday.

Maybe looking to the future had changed a few more things than he thought.

“I think we should schedule another session,” Mattie mentioned when their hour was up. She sighed as she looked back over. “If you can’t do in person, we can do it over the phone or a video chat. Whatever works best for you.”

Tony didn’t reply. He felt emotionally exhausted. It’d been a very long two days, and he knew that it was going to be longer still. But talking about those things, letting it out, almost felt good. And he didn’t want to lose that feeling yet.

“Yeah, okay,” he replied. “Same time next week? In person?”

“That works. “ Mattie put the paper she’d been writing on in a folder, strolling to her filing cabinet. “In the meantime, you have homework. Talk to Pepper about something that scares you. It can be about anything you want - the suits, kids, your insecurities, anything. The only way you can grow is if you confront your fears.”

Well, that would be fun. He couldn’t deny that it made sense though.

Tony walked out of Mattie’s office feeling drained, but somehow more optimistic about the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Sasha Hammer** – Kristin Kreuk  
>  **Ezekiel Stane** – Garrett Hedlund  
>  **Doctor Matilda “Mattie” Washington-Rhodes** – Audra McDonald
> 
> While Mattie is an original character, Sasha and Zeke are Marvel comics canon. Sasha in particular is a bit more of a change-up than Zeke, since she's Justin Hammer's granddaughter in the comics, changed here to paternal half-sister. She and Zeke will both show up later, as will Mattie.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony and Pepper babysit, consider their futures, and have a serious discussion.

After the appointment with Mattie, Tony drove around for a while. He didn’t like letting other people drive for him, not after his parents’ car accident. He preferred independence in that way. He’d worked hard to get his license, and cars were a hobby of his in some ways. God knew he'd mourned a few of those he'd lost in the attack on the Malibu home last year.

He stopped on the way back to the penthouse, buying a nice bouquet of white calla lilies, Pepper's favorite. He had to at least try to apologize, even if their talk yesterday morning couldn’t be completely classified as a fight. Either way, he wanted to at least get any awkward feelings out of the way. He couldn’t lose her.

He really didn’t know what he would do if he lost her.

The last thing Tony expected when he came home that afternoon was two reddish-haired girls on the couch, one of them looking thrilled to be there and the other wishing she was anywhere else. The older one scowled, staring out at the city through the window in between playing on her phone. The younger girl was playing on a handheld gaming device, and looked up when she saw Tony came in.

Her eyes widened in amazement, and she squealed, hitting her sister on the arm. “Ashy, Ashy, look!”

The older girl rolled her eyes, giving a long suffering sigh as she typed away on her phone. The grimace on her face contained a level of contempt that only a teenager could create. The older girl pulled her gaze away from her phone long enough to look Tony over. She did not seem impressed. “Yes, I see him,” she said impatiently, rolling her eyes.

“Um, hi,” Tony said, frowning slightly before looking back towards the kitchen. “Um, Pepper? You home? You know why there are kids here?”

“I’m fifteen, I’m not a kid,” the older girl snapped, glaring across at him. She shook her head, leaning her head back before complaining, “This is so fucking stupid…”

“Ashley,” Pepper warned as she came out from the kitchen. She shot the older girl a look before handing a bottle of water towards the younger girl, whose eyes were wide at her sister's language. “Your mom told you about the language thing.”

The older girl rolled her eyes yet again. Tony’s mother was fond of the statement that his eyes might get stuck like that if he kept rolling them like that. It wasn’t until he saw the teenage girl in front of him rolling her eyes that he realized just how accurate that statement was when it came to teenagers. She'd rolled her eyes enough that it could have been her daily workout. Not to mention the look on her face made her look like she could live off spite alone.

Then again, teenagers probably did have that ability.

“What’s going on?” Tony asked, frowning over at his girlfriend when she came over. “It this revenge on the whole suits thing? You bring a broody teenager and hyperactive child to torture me?”

“What? No, this has nothing to do with it.” Pepper sighed. “Happy’s mom went to the hospital. She fell down the stairs, broke her hip. Happy left during work, and his girlfriend went with him for moral support on the drive to Oakland. Her daughters needed someone to watch them because the older one’s been getting in trouble and she didn’t trust them overnight.”

Tony nodded. The explanation made the fact that there were two kids on his couch a lot more understandable, especially when he put together exactly who these kids actually belonged to. “Those are Beverly’s kids?”

His girlfriend raised a single eyebrow over at him. “You know who she is? I didn’t even know he had a girlfriend,” Pepper admitted. “Who is she?”

“She was the nurse from the hospital when he was injured, Beverly. She would watch _Downton Abbey_ with him.” Tony met her a few times during Happy’s hospital stay, and he hadn’t been too surprised when he found out they’d been seeing each other. She was smart and didn’t stand for anyone’s shit, and he knew that was Happy’s type. The reddish hair didn't hurt her either.

What he hadn’t known was that Happy had already met Beverly's two daughters. And that Happy and Beverly were serious enough that she would go with him when his mother was injured.

Pepper at last noticed the flowers in Tony’s hands. “You brought me flowers?”

Tony nodded, smiling back at her before shrugging and saying, “Saw them and I thought of you. Just as beautiful.”

“Flatterer.” Pepper rolled her eyes fondly.

On the couch, the older girl rolled her eyes and the younger one sighed. “It’s so romantic,” the younger one said, looking between them as she grinned at her sister. The teenager only rolled her eyes again. Tony briefly wondered if he could try and count how many times she rolled her eyes that day. He'd lose count eventually.

Pepper gestured towards them. “This is Ashley.” The older girl, with shoulder length reddish-gold hair and in a sweatshirt that said Monarch Mock Trial, and had a look that clearly said that it didn’t matter that he was Tony Stark, she was a teenage girl and was not impressed. “And this is Megan.”

Megan, on the other hand, looked excited and like she might start jumping up and down. At least someone was happy for the day. “You’re really Tony Stark?” she demanded. It was only then that he noticed the t-shirt on her, simple and blank except for the single Avengers-styled A on the front.

“Am I?” Tony wondered, pausing before pulling out his wallet. “Hey, look at that. Driver’s license said I am.” Megan giggled, beaming over at him. “Nice to meet you, kids. Your mom is a great lady.”

The older girl looked back over at Tony, almost surprised he’d said that. Pepper noticed the look. “Mom’s awesome,” Megan said, still grinning. “She really likes Happy. And he really likes her.”

“You want to know something?” Tony asked. Megan nodded eagerly, leaning in carefully. “He doesn't just like your mom. Happy really, really, _really_ likes your mom.”

Megan’s face split into another grin, and the scowl immediately reappeared on Ashley’s face. Tony briefly wondered how the hell this kid’s face hadn’t split in half just yet, but he couldn’t deny that feeling of warmth in his chest at the fact that she seemed so excited and just genuinely happy. To be young again. It would be nice. Must be even nicer to have kids who clearly adored their mother. Beverly was a lucky woman.

Maybe someday, Tony thought. Maybe someday.

Pepper took the flowers from him, kissing his cheek gently before heading into the kitchen to put flowers in the vase. Tony followed her, leaving Ashley to her texting and Megan to her video game, though the younger girl looked up several different times, still star struck by the fact that she was in the same room as Tony Stark.

Tony glanced back towards them before taking a deep breath. “I had an appointment today. With Mattie.”

Pepper turned over to look at him, open surprise on her face. “Really?” she asked. She placed the flowers in a vase, readjusting them carefully before placing them in the middle of the counter.

“Well, you said you wanted me to. And Rhodey’s been needling me to go see someone and talk to them. So… I did. I’ve got a second appointment with her next week.” And as terrified as he was for what might happen in a second appointment, he knew that it was important to Pepper, not to mention Rhodey. He was half surprised they hadn't brought Happy into their crusade to get him into therapy.

Pepper still looked surprised, but grateful as well. “We can talk about it when they’re gone. Happy says they hope they’ll be back late tonight, maybe early tomorrow at the absolute latest. It all depends on when he can take his mom back home.”

Tony nodded. “In the meantime, let’s test our parenting skills,” he said.

It was only half a joke. Between the fact that he’d spent most of his appointment thinking about having kids, talking about Rhodey’s daughters with Mattie and thinking about his own potential kids, this seemed to be almost a sign of sorts. And judging from the look on Pepper’s face when he mentioned their parenting skills, he realized there was every chance he wasn’t the only one thinking about children.

Maybe this would happen far sooner than Tony thought it might.

“Feeding them might be a good start. And then homework. We can find something for them to watch after,” Pepper replied, already making a list like the organized person she was at heart. "There's got to be a movie all four of us can agree on."

“Sounds like a plan.” He squeezed her hand gently before leaning to kiss her cheek again. Tony looked back to the living room before calling, “Girls, what do you want for dinner?”

 “Sushi!” Megan called, still looking from the couch, only her eyes visible over the edge. She ducked when Tony looked back over at her. “I like sushi. Or hibachi. Beef hibachi.”

Tony hummed, shrugging before looking at Pepper. “Now that she said it, I want sushi too.” Tony pulled out his phone. “Girls, what do you want, I’m gonna get us sushi. Is sushi okay with you, Ashley?”

To Tony’s surprise, Ashley did not have a scowl as she replied, “California and tuna rolls, please.”

“Your wish is my command.” He leaned over to kiss Pepper again. “Your usual?”

Pepper raised an eyebrow before squeezing his hand again. “You know it,” she replied.

She knew that he was worried after their discussion yesterday. Tony worried, and his mind would have moved to worry about the worst possible scenario: whether she wanted to end it because he’d been designing suits again. That couldn’t be farther from the truth. Pepper only wanted time to reconcile everything, the fact that he might go back to Iron Man. She wanted to make damned sure that Tony would not lose himself to the suits.

She could not watch him slowly kill himself. Not again. But the fact that he was talking to someone about his issues was a huge sign of improvement, and she was proud of him for that.

“He said a half an hour, so I should probably go now so we can get there in time,” Tony mentioned when he got off the phone. He looked towards the girls and shrugged before calling, “Girls, either one of you want to come with me to get sushi?”

Megan popped out from the couch again, her eyes wide as she nodded. “Are we gonna go in the awesome car?” Megan asked, beaming. “Please? Happy told me about it and it sounds awesome.”

“You know what, kid? I’ll even let you sit in the front.” The grin on Megan’s face warmed Tony’s heart even more, though the squeal might have hurt his ears. “C’mon, let’s go.” Megan jumped up to her feet, scurrying to the elevator with Tony as she waved over at Ashley. “See you both later.”

And so Pepper was left alone with an angsty teenager. Though if she remembered her own teenager years and what she knew about Happy and Beverly, Pepper had a feeling she knew what was bothering Ashley. Might as well test her parenting skills with something truly challenging - deconstructing a teenager's angst.

Pepper sat down on the couch, watching Ashley before saying, “It’s hard, isn’t it? Your mom dating.”

Ashley was surprised enough by the question that she dropped her phone. “Excuse me?” she asked, staring over suspiciously at her. “Did my mom pay you to talk to me?” She seemed to realize how stupid the idea of _paying_ Pepper Potts to talk to someone would be before sighing, “Is this a trick?”

“Not at all.” Pepper raised her hands before saying, “My dad passed away when I was a kid. Car accident. And it was hard when my mom started to date my stepdad. Let's just say I know that subject better than most.”

Ashley looked at the unopened water bottle Pepper tossed over for Megan, and took it, playing with it carefully. “It was a heart attack. He dropped on the field next to my soccer game and he didn't get up. He was gone by the time he got to the hospital.” Ashley swallowed, leaning her head back. “Megan was a baby. She doesn’t remember him. I do. He was the best.”

“So was my dad.” Pepper looked back at Ashley before adding gently, “I know that it’s hard, to have a parent date. Especially when it’s the first one they date. And when it gets serious quickly.”

“I don’t want to see my mom get hurt again. She’s raised me and Megan without anyone’s help and she deserves the best.” Ashley shook her head. “I just want her to be happy.”

Pepper reached over, squeezing Ashley’s hand. The teenager didn’t pull away, to Pepper's surprise and relief. “I know Happy. And I know that he would never hurt your mom, or you, or your sister,” she assured her.

The teenager was quiet for a few moments, processing. Her fingers played with the water bottle carefully. “Is your stepdad nice?” Ashley asked. She shook her head. “It’s stupid but, like… we’ve done fine alone. Yeah, things are tight, but it’s been me and Megan and Mom for years and I don’t want anyone to ruin that.”

“He is.” Pepper looked back over at her. “But there’s also one major difference between our mothers.”

Ashley frowned, looking back over at her as she waited for an answer. “Your mom loves you and your sister, and understands how complicated it is for someone else to be brought into a family,” Pepper added simply. “You and Megan are her priority. And she loves you more than anything. And perhaps most importantly, Happy knows how important you and your sisters are. And you’re both important to him because of that.”

Ashley’s face softened, taking a deep breath before saying, “Mom really likes him. She’s been happier since they’ve been going out. And he’s nice to me and Megan. I’ve been a bitch to him.”

“You’re a teenager, you’re allowed to have bad moments,” Pepper assured her, squeezing her hand gently. “You’re not a bitch. You’re a teenager whose life is changing a lot. He understands that. So does your mom.”

The teenager nodded, looking back over at her. “Thank you,” she said simply. “Do you think that… that that they might make it? That he might be my stepdad? I don’t know him and I don’t know if he dates around…”

“He doesn’t,“ Pepper assured her. “I’ve known him for about ten years. As far as I know, he’s never dated anyone other than your mom. She’s smart, she’s funny, and she watches _Downton Abbey_. That makes her perfect.”

A smile cracked over Ashley’s face. “It’s my favorite show. I haven’t watched with my mom in months because she’s been watching with him all the time.”

“Well, now all of you can watch together. Use it as a bonding experience.” Pepper squeezed her hand. “Things change a lot, Ashley. That doesn’t mean you have to be afraid of the future. Sometimes you can look forward to it.”

As Ashley smiled again and looked down at her phone, looking almost more at peace, Pepper realized that if she did nothing else in the next year of her life, she had at least helped a girl going through a very confusing time.

And maybe, she would be a good mother.

* * *

The girls did end up staying over after Happy’s mother was admitted overnight in the hospital. The guest room had a king sized bed, large enough for both girls to have enough room on it. Megan was asleep by the time that Ashley went to bed, and Tony was very surprised when he and Megan returned and found Ashely in a much better mood.

It was almost fun, the four of them hanging out in the penthouse for the night. Tony helped Ashley with her science homework, and heard her talk about mock trial with an enthusiasm only the truly passionate could bring about. Megan had a biology textbook in her backpack, borrowed from the school library, and talked excitedly about genetics and surgery and tried to get them to watch Grey's Anatomy after dinner. Tony was outvoted, and was still somewhat weirded out that his night had ended eating ice cream and watching a medical drama with his girlfriend and best friend's potential future stepdaughters.

“You know, I’m a bit worried that there’s gonna be headlines about me having a kid,” Tony mentioned. He set another bowl into the dishwasher before wiping his hands off on the rag they kept on the counter. “A few paps caught me when I was getting the sushi. That might make Megan’s life, actually. She’s read my memoirs, apparently. And pre-ordered the unofficial one that guy did of Cap.”

“She seems like a smart kid,” Pepper mentioned, cleaning up a few things around the living room before looking back over. “You were good with her. Both of them.”

There was an odd smile on Tony’s face, one that Pepper wasn’t sure she wanted to dissect now. Tony didn’t dig into it anymore, merely sighing and looking back over at her. “Are you ready to talk?” he asked simply.

Pepper nodded. She’d been thinking about it the last two days, and knew that any longer and it might drive Tony out of his mind. “Yeah,” she replied. She lead the way to the living room, plopping down on the sofa and pulling her legs to her. They couldn't push it off any longer, and she knew that it had to be driving him insane to wait like this.

Tony sat next to her, taking a deep breath before saying, “Alright. Let’s talk.” His fingers fidgeted, a tick Pepper recognized far better than anyone else might have.

The CEO looked away for a few moments before saying, “This world is insane. It’s crazy and there are some very bad people in it. And I know if I had to sit and watch bad things happen to other people, knowing I had something that could stop it… I wouldn’t be able to do it.”

He looked back sharply at her, his eyes widening when he realized what she meant. “You don’t mind me building suits,” he said simply, wondering if that’s what she was heading around to. He was half sure he'd misheard her. "Is that what you're saying?"

Pepper shook her head. “No, I don’t. I understand why. I understand why you want to do something, why you feel like you need to.” She took his hand, squeezing it tightly before adding, “But you need to promise me something.”

Tony looked back up at her in confusion. Pepper’s hands cupped his face, and he leaned into the touch, a touch so familiar he could recognize it in a crowd of millions. “Sometimes, you focus on Tony Stark too,” Pepper explained softly. “You don’t just become Iron Man. You remember that Tony Stark is Iron Man, that sometimes Tony Stark needs to come first.”

“Don’t lose myself to the suits,” Tony supplied simply. He’d done that so many times over the last three years. He couldn’t be surprised that people had noticed, Pepper and Rhodey and Happy the highest among them.

Pepper nodded. “Don’t lose yourself to anything.” She looked out the window. “And you keep going to therapy. Do you think today’s session helped at all?”

In some ways, it absolutely had. In other ways, Tony dreaded going there, dreaded the fact that he was going to have to talk about some incredibly painful things. Maybe they were things he needed to talk about though, needed to discuss and dissect and finally process. He knew that therapy wasn't something you enjoyed like a basketball game. it was something that he severely needed, something he could not push away.

“It did help. And I do think I should keep going,” he said simply. “Even if I’m not in LA. I know we’re gonna between here and New York and running around the world until the house is finished. But I can make it work..”

“We’ve got a private jet.” Pepper’s face turned serious as she looked back at him. “I told you once that I wasn’t going to watch you kill yourself. That still holds. I understand you want this. And need it on some level. And I support that. But I don’t support this being some redemption equals death scenario. You don’t need redemption, Tony.”

Hearing someone say it out loud was a slap to the face that Tony desperately needed.

“Tony, me deciding wasn't me deciding about a relationship. It’s about me deciding how I feel about the suits.” Pepper sighed. “I know that you’re a good man, a hero, without them. And someday I hope you realize that too.”

Tony reached out, sighing as he wrapped an arm around her waist, just holding her close. He hoped that he could remember that, someday, the next time that he was at the lowest point that he had. “I love you,” he murmured to her softly. “So much.”

“I love you too.” Pepper reached up, kissing him again. “You can build the suits. You never needed my permission for that. I support it. But be careful. Do not lose yourself to those suits. Don't go into those suits just to go into them.”

“I won’t. I promise you that.” And that was a promise he prayed he would never come close to breaking. He hesitated before remembering his homework, “Have you ever thought about kids?”

To Pepper’s complete surprise, the question came from Tony. The redhead looked up, raising an eyebrow before repeating, “Kids?”

Tony nodded before saying, “It was um, something Mattie and I talked about in therapy. And my homework was to talk to you about something that scares me. So. Kids.”

Pepper watched him carefully before nodding slowly. “Yeah. I have. Especially after seeing my sister and nephews a few months ago. And today with Megan and Ashley, seeing how you were good with them… I think that we could make it work.”

“So what?” Tony asked. “Do we want to start trying for kids?”

“I say I stop using birth control and we see what happens after some time,” Pepper replied after a few moments of pregnant silence. “It might take a month, it might take a year. Maybe I can get pregnant, maybe I can’t. No matter what, we take it moment by moment and see what happens.”

“There’s always adoption too,” he mentioned, smiling softly at her.

They were doing this. They had a simple talk about this and made a decision. It wasn't about financials with them. They could more than afford a child. It was about whether they were ready, whether or not they thought they were good parents. It was going to take a lot more discussion than just this, but the fact that they agreed on the fact that they wanted kids was a huge start. It was far more than Tony thought he would have before his session with Mattie.

“Me getting pregnant won’t be for a lack of trying,” Pepper promised, smirking up at him. Her arms went around him as she tilted her head. “How about we go start trying now?”

Tony grinned, his arms lifting her up carefully as he shook his head. “You’ve got it, boss.”

They stumbled into the bedroom together, still united, stronger than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For these two, this is more of their future face claims, since they are ages fifteen and nine in-story.
> 
>  **Ashley Carlson** \- Katie Leclerc  
>  **Megan Carlson** \- Katherine McNamara


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the future isn't the future - it's the present.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains minor spoilers for **I Am the Storm** , which will be the third story in **Set the World on Fire**. The events mentioned will be covered more in-depth in that story.

Tony was half surprised he was here, and half surprised they hadn't been there sooner.

The beaches of the Bahamas were truly one of the most beautiful places ever. This beach in particular, a small, private one on the property of the most expensive resorts in the area, was a favorite of Maria Stark when she’d been alive. The sand was white, the water soft and beautiful, and Maria Stark once called it the place she'd been the happiest. Looking at the sun on the water and the grins on the faces of the people around him, Tony could understand why.

And he could understand why Happy was as truly joyous as he was. Though Tony was still slightly confused about why he’d been asked to hold the ceremony.

“Remind me again why I’m doing this?” Tony asked in a low voice as they all moved down the beach to where the ceremony would take place. "Me, holding a wedding ceremony? It's kinda weird."

In a flowing, beautiful summer dress, Pepper shrugged lightly, her hands on Tony’s arm. The soft teal of the dress contrasted with her loose red hair. “Because you’re friends and practically family?” she suggested. She squeezed his arm in support. "You talked to the justice in LA. You paid attention. You know what to do."

Tony shrugged. “Sure, but he has no idea what he’s in for.”

The bride of the beach wedding ceremony laughed. “We want it to be fun,” Beverly Carlson explained, raising an eyebrow towards Tony. She and Happy were leading the way down the beach hand in hand. Ashley and Megan had already run ahead to the water, up to their ankles, laughter filling the air. “This is a fun family vacation where we’re happening to get married, joined by Aunt Pepper and Uncle Tony.”

Pepper smiled before laying a hand gently on Beverly’s back. “And thank you for letting us join you on this.”

“It’s everything we wanted,” Beverly promised. “You two didn’t need to do all of this. Especially since Tony’s already giving us a lot by running the ceremony.”

“Well, we wanted to make it special. You deserved it,” Tony replied, smirking at Happy. “Relax, I’ll make sure it’s good.”

“I have complete faith in you, boss,” Happy replied, his face softening as he looked back over at Beverly. They made it down by the water side, and he looked back down at his fiancee. “Ready?”

Beverly beamed. “Ready.” She nodded at Tony, who proceeded to clear his throat. Ashley and Megan were already heading over, both girls looking ecstatic. Megan hugged her mother quickly before moving next to Pepper, and Ashley winked at her mother and soon-to-be stepfather.

“Dearly beloved… by that I mean about all six of us…” Tony nodded towards Beverly’s daughters. Pepper had her arm around a now crying Megan, and Ashley had a few tears of her own on her face.

She’d come a long way from the angry teenager upset about her mother dating some random guy she met in a hospital. Tony’s eyes flickered to Pepper for a few moments, remembering that night. Maybe they all had grown up a bit over the last year or two.

“We gather here today for a wedding ceremony on a really gorgeous beach for a really gorgeous lady and a really cool dude,” Tony explained, smirking when he heard Beverly snort in amusement. Happy rolled his eyes, but nothing could stop the beaming smile on his face. “Both of them wanted this to be short in speech, but they gave me power so I’m gonna make a speech.”

Tony’s eyes flickered towards Pepper before adding, “Someone once told me that family is more than blood. And that’s completely true. Family is so much more than blood. It’s about love, and trust, and loyalty. And I don’t see anyone who fits that more than these two. Maybe me and Pepper. But it’s a close call.”

Happy rolled his eyes, and Beverly laughed, squeezing her soon-to-be-husband’s hand. Yeah, Happy had gotten luck with this one, considering she laughed at Tony’s jokes.

It was an easy and simple ceremony with no religious leanings. By the end of it, Happy and Beverly were kissing on the beach, and Ashley and Megan both lunged forward to hug their mother and their new stepfather. Tony took a few steps back, patting Happy’s back, Pepper hugging Beverly, before the two of them left the new Carlson-Hogan family on the beach.

“I’m happy for that,” Tony mentioned, looking back as he and Pepper headed for a walk down the beach. “They deserve this. And Happy will be a good stepdad.”

“No,” Pepper corrected, glancing back towards the girls and smiling when she saw Ashley hugging Happy. “He’s gonna be a good dad.” She smirked before adding, “He’s not the only one.”

“Oh, yeah?” Tony asked, distracted enough by the sand between his toes that it took a moment to understand the implication of her words. He froze when he understood it, looking back towards her. “Wait, what?”

Pepper smiled, leaning in to kiss him gently. Her forehead against his, she proceeded to say the one thing that would change his life forever, though in the best way possible, in a way that so little things truly could.

“I’m pregnant.”

* * *

 It wasn’t for another month, until DC, that Tony realized that Iron Man was in fact needed again.

He was in New York during the mess, completely oblivious to the fact that some HYDRA weapon of mass destruction was targeting him, prepared to practically wipe New York off the map with how many people there were targeted by Project Insight. He didn’t know what was happening until a frantic call from Rhodey said that there’d been a massive terrorist attack in DC lead by HYDRA, and Rogers was either dead or missing, that Romanoff was involved, and that everything had gone to hell.

He had a suit at the ready, but he hadn’t put it on. He couldn’t put it on yet. He had at least three suits built, but besides testing the armor one piece at a time, he hadn’t been able to get himself to put it all on in the same time. All of them were ready to go.

Tony just wasn't sure if he was ready.

As he stared at the television in front of him, he took a deep breath, pacing slightly. “C’mon, Pep,” he murmured. “Answer the phone.”

To his relief, she answered on the next ring. “I saw,” Pepper said immediately. Her voice was grim and shaky. “It looks bad.”

Pepper was overseas, in Sweden for a large business meeting. Pepper was pregnant and far away and HYDRA was alive and had already nearly killed two Avengers. HYDRA was alive and well and had nearly killed hundreds of thousands, possible millions, of people.

The world had gone crazy again. There was no denying that. And there was no denying what Tony had to do.

“Pepper-“ Tony took a deep breath, not sure how to say it, not sure how to bring this up.

He didn’t know what he wanted from her. Permission to put on the armor? Approval for what he had to do? A blessing? Whatever he wanted, he knew he had to try at least.

“I know,” Pepper said. There was something in her voice he couldn’t read, but he was just relieved that she knew what he was going to say. “Go. Do what you need to do. As Tony Stark or Iron Man… just do what you need to do. Call me soon. Stay alive. We need you.”

 _We need you_. Pepper and their kid. The kid that was going to come into a world where Tony Stark knew shit could go sideways in a matter of moments. It just happened in DC, it might happen in more places. Tony had to protect the people he cared about.

And he would protect his kid, no matter what.

“I love you,” Tony mentioned. “Both of you. More than anything. You and our son.”

"It's a girl and we both know it." The amusement drained out of Pepper's voice a moment later. “We love you too. Go.”

They hung up a moment later, and Tony stared down at the phone. He took a deep breath before heading down the stairs to what was now the Avengers’ armory. The suit stood in a display case, ready to go. The armor shielded his body as he called with the implants he’d never taken out, encasing it in a familiar case that almost screamed welcome home.

This wasn’t just for him. This was for his future child. This was so his future child would be safe in an insane world, that no one would ever be able to hurt them. This was something Tony had to do.

He had to get back in the suit. He had to go back in the air. He had to get down to DC and figure out a way to help Rogers. That was the only option.

He got in the armor, took another deep breath, and flew into New York airspace. DC wasn’t too far away, and these suits were fast. People on the street looked up in shock as they saw him flying from the balcony, through the air and in the direction of the disaster in DC.

Iron Man was back.

* * *

“You want me to _what_?”

Tony sighed as he held the phone to his ear. He looked over the plans spread everywhere over the Tower floor. After DC, after everything, after a kidnapping only days ago involving an Avenger, after the still occurring disappearance of another, Tony was trying to throw himself into preparing the Avengers for a role in the world that they were stuck with.

“I want you to be godfather, Rhodey,” Tony repeated. He took a deep breath. “I don’t trust anyone else with this baby. You’re about it. So I want you to be godfather. Carter’s godmother. Haven’t asked her yet, but please, she’s not gonna say no. I mean, c’mon, I’m already Tamara’s godfather. It only fits that your my kid’s godfather.”

Rhodey scoffed over the phone. “Still amazed you’re gonna be a dad. And not freaking out about it.”

“Let’s just say your wife has been helping a lot with that.” Tony was continuing with his therapy sessions, meeting with her or messaging with her at least once a week. It was the best decision he’d made in a while, and probably the only reason he wasn't going manic with his impending fatherhood.

“My wife is very good at her job.” There was a smile in Rhodey’s voice when he said, “I’ll be godfather. Does this mean I’m allowed to tell the kids? They're gonna be thrilled. Tamara's gonna be begging to babysit for you.”

“Feel free. Record their reaction, it might make Pepper cry. We hired a nanny, Willow, she and Pepper bonded and cried over some movie about a dog and now apparently Pep wants a dog…” Tony shook his head. “There’s been a lot of crying around here lately.” Not just about the baby. About the world they lived in, the very real fears they all had about raising children in this world, and everything else that followed.

“Sounds like it. Just wait a few more months, then you’ll get a lot more crying.” Since finding out about the impending Potts-Stark child, Rhodey was taking complete joy in warning him for everything he had in store, including diapers, snot, and vomit.

Tony was almost looking forward to it.

He groaned, refusing to ever admit it. “Don’t remind me. I’m already stockpiling diapers and pacifiers.”

“Keisha would throw them at me and Mattie. Usually with shit in or on them.” Rhodey’s voice took on a deeper tone, and Tony was surprised what he said. “I’m proud of you, man. You’ve come a long way in the last year. You should be proud of yourself too.”

Maybe he was a bit. It’d been over a year since Killian. It would be two years in December. And he and Pepper were both happy and healthy and expecting a child. Things were good. Things were good enough that Tony was almost afraid that something would go wrong. Maybe he should add that to the list of things to discuss with Mattie. It was a long one.

“Thanks, Rhodey.” Tony took a deep breath before saying, “I’ve got another question.”

“And what’s that?”

And here went the bigger question, the one that Tony was more worried about. “How would you like to be an Avenger?”

* * *

“I’m not going to lie; I’m surprised to have you in my office and not Tony.”

Pepper gave a delicate smile as she leaned back against the couch. “I’ve been having a lot of emotions lately. I figured it would be smart to talk to someone about them,” she explained. And she would be beyond a hypocrite if she didn't get help after insisting over and over that Tony got help.

Mattie shrugged lightly before saying, “Not a judgement on you, Pepper. I’m glad you’re here. Motherhood brings out a lot of complicated feelings towards peoples’ past and childhoods. I know I spent a lot of time examining things during both my pregnancies.”

Pepper nodded in agreement, sighing softly as she looked back towards her. “I’ve been thinking a lot about my mom,” she admitted. “She’s… she’s not a nice woman.”

She watched at Mattie’s longer fingers scrawled out a few notes, her dark eyes turning back to Pepper after a few moments. “What are you worried about? That your skills as a mother might be in doubt because you didn’t have a good mother?”

“Just everything. If I can run a multi-billion dollar company, I can raise a kid. I don’t have doubt of that I don’t even have doubt about Tony being a father. He’s going to be amazing.” She took a deep breath ebfore admitting. “I think it’s part fear of the unknown of parenthood and just… realizing that I might have to do it alone.”

“From what I’ve seen, I think Tony’s prepared to be a very active parent.”

Pepper shook her head. “No, he is,” she corrected. “He’s so excited and ready for the baby. I think it’s his personal revenge against Howard, being a good father.” She took a deep breath. “What I’m worried about is me raising the baby alone after something happens to him.”

Mattie frowned, raising an eyebrow over at her. “Do you think something is going to happen to Tony?”

She did think so. “I basically raised my sister when our dad passed away.” She took a deep breath before continuing, “My mom and dad were in a car accident. Mom survived. Dad didn’t. And more than once, both my sister and I have said that it should have been our mom that died, not our dad. I never want my child to think that about me and Tony, because… someday, it’s very likely I’ll be raising our child alone.”

It was an inevitability that Pepper was struggling to accept. With who Tony was, he would always throw himself into danger, into defending innocent people and the world they all lived in.

He’d already died in one alien invasion. There was every chance that another one would come down and Tony’s luck wouldn’t come through. There was every chance that Pepper and their child would be burying Tony, as much as she hated to think about it.

“You think that being Iron Man might eventually kill Tony,” Mattie summarized, raising an eyebrow at her. “Is that what you mean?”

Pepper nodded. “I really do think so. That’s why I didn’t want him going back. But he needs it. In ways he’ll never admit. And he can do something to help people. I can’t tell him no. But someday… I’m gonna bury him.”

Mattie looked back over at her. “I’ve felt that fear for the last fifteen years. I can’t lie to you and say it will ever get easier. But it helps to remember that they’re doing what they think is right. There’s a peace in that.”

“A peace that makes it okay when we lose them?” Pepper wondered.

Mattie gave a small, sad smile. “A peace knowing that they died thinking in what they did was right. But they’re both still alive. They’ve both come home to us every time before.”

It only took one time for them to fail in that. Pepper didn’t state that out loud. She didn’t think she could handle that.

“There’s no guarantee about who lives or dies,” Mattie pointed out. She took a deep breath before adding, “I could die in a car accident while on my way to get Keisha from soccer practice today. You could die in childbirth. Rhodey could die on a mission in his suit. Tony could die in an alien invasion. Any of us could die in our beds, gray and old. We don’t know when our time is up, Pepper. Thinking about it will only drive us crazy.”

Pepper’s hand moved down to her stomach when she felt a soft kick, closing her eyes. “That inevitability and ambiguity is terrifying.”

“It is,” Mattie replied in a sympathetic voice. “But it’s something we have to live with. As mothers and as people in a world where we don’t know what happens next. Everything changed after New York, Pepper. You’re not the only one trying to figure it out.”

She hoped she could live with that, the lack of knowledge and lack of understanding. She hoped that she could be a good mother to this child inside of her, one that deserved everything.

But most of all, Pepper hoped that she would never bury Tony.

* * *

Two years, four months, and twenty-nine days after the Battle of New York, after the world changed forever, Tony held Pepper’s hand in an operating room and heard a cry come from the other side of a curtain as the long-awaited c-section.

A nurse held a tiny, wailing bundle in her arms. Pepper gasped, a sob breaking it as her hand went to her mouth. “Oh my god,” she whispered, staring over as the baby was brought over. Pepper's arms were outstretched, and she shook her head. "Oh my god."

Tony stared in blank amazement as the baby was placed onto Pepper’s chest, fine dark threads of hair scattered along her skull. He barely realized that he was grinning, that tears were already on her face. “Listen to those lungs,” Tony laughed. “That’s a Stark.”

“Congratulations. It’s a healthy girl,” the nurse said. Tony grinned at the answer to what he and Pepper had been debating for months. And despite the fact that he'd been betting on a boy, he was more than thrilled with a baby girl.

Pepper laughed. “I told you it was a girl,” she said, stroking their daughter's dark, fine hair. "We have a girl. We have a daughter."

“You know, I don’t mind being wrong here.” Tony reached out, a finger tracing over her skull, shaking his head. A few tears fell down his face as he looked back down at Pepper, leaning to kiss her forehead. “You kicked ass.” He looked down at their daughter before adding, “So did you, little lady.”

“She’s gonna need a name,” Pepper pointed out.

He had a few ideas, but looking down at her, he could only think of one. “What about Morgan?” At Pepper’s confused look, he explained, “After your uncle. He was always nice. And yeah, I know he was a guy, but Morgan's a unisex name.”

“I like it. Morgan Potts-Stark."

There was a certain ring to it that he liked. Tony leaned down and kissed her again, kissing the top of Morgan's head as well. “She needs a middle name.”

"Maria? Morgan Maria?" Pepper winced as she said it out loud, shaking her head. "Don't think it works. It might be nice to name her after your mom though."

The billionaire, former playboy, philanthropist father shook his head before saying, "Morgan Collins Potts-Stark. Collins was my mom's middle name."

Pepper hummed, looking back down at the little girl before saying, "Morgan Collins Potts-Stark. I think it works."

The name made it more real, even more so than the tiny blanket in his girlfriend's arms, with dark hair and bright eyes and a loud cry. That was his daughter. That was their daughter. That was Morgan. Tony leaned in to kiss her forehead again. “I love you. Both of you.”

Pepper smiled back up at him. “I love you too,” she whispered. “Both of you. We did it.”

He squeezed her hand. “Yeah. We did.”

As Pepper looked back down at her daughter, she couldn’t help but smile. Things seemed almost brighter now. The future was worth looking forward to. And with Tony and Morgan, she was ready to find out what it would be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Set the World on Fire** will continue with **We’re Going Down Swinging** , a story focusing on Clint Barton, Natasha Romanoff, and Kate Bishop. The story will begin posting in the next several days. Tony will return in **I Am the Storm** , the third story of the series.
> 
> Edit 5/11/18: In the aftermath of Infinity War, I did change Anna's name to Morgan to accommodate that tidbit. Plus, I just really like how Morgan Stark sounds. So now, her name is Morgan.
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I hope to see you with the next installment.


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